Catfights: A disgrace to Women or great Entertainment?

Jerseylicious Olivia and Tracy fighting outside the Sonic restaurant

Basketball Wives Meeka and Tami fighting in Italy

Tracy arguing with Olivia's boyfriend Mike resulting in a bar fight

Basketball Wives Eric Williams throws drink in ex-wife Jennifer's face

It all started with the Flavor of Love and more recently ends with Basketball Wives black women are catching flax for getting into brawls on national television. During the first season of Flavor of Love, the average working class woman was appalled at the negative images of black women fighting on t.v. At that time we didn't know that most reality television is scripted and the producers stir up controversy to boost ratings. It began with black women acting a fool on television, but with the addition of shows like Jerseylicious, Jersey Shore and Bad Girls Club acting a fool is now a universal behavior among all women.

Drita and Karen brawl on Mob Wives

Some of these women are aspiring actresses, businesswomen or just want their 10 minutes of fame, but is it worth embarrassing themselves on t.v. for the sake of a paycheck? Producer of Basketball Wives  Shaunie O'Neal was under fire a few weeks ago for a lack of better words throwing a brick out into a crowd then hiding her hands behind her back. She claimed that she wasn't intentionally portraying negative images of black women on television. Anyone who watches the shows knows that her words don't equal to her actions on the show. Should we continue to watch these reality shows and boost their ratings or should we boycott these type of shows? The formula is simple...America loves drama...whether it's on programs showcasing the lives of hairdressers, party goers at the shore, ex-wives of athletes, dating shows, or dance/singing competitions, America loves to watch the drama unfold on television.

I have mentioned before that I watch these shows for entertainment purposes only, I may tweet about them on Monday nights, but I don't look to these women as being role models to young women or as inspiration to me to be like them. Of course not all reality television is negative shows like How Do I Look?, Say Yes to the Dress, Four Weddings, My Fair Wedding, Tia & Tamera and Bill and Guilana are all breaths of fresh air. These shows exhibit normal behaviors of brides-to-be, sisters, new mothers, and loving married couples. Don't get me wrong these shows have a different type of drama which does not end in a restaurant fight or a drink thrown into your face.

~L.G.~

New York gets a spit shower on Flavor of Love

Kim and NeNe argue on Real Housewives of Atlanta

If You Love Her Put A Big Rock On It?

As I've watched many times before, the episode of The Game "Put A Ring On It", I revisited a question in my mind that I asked some friends previously on my Facebook page. On this episode, Derwin asked Melanie to marry him for the second time, after previously buying two rings before. The first proposal happened after a pregnancy scare and Melanie not wanting to start a family before being married. The second proposal didn't happen because Melanie wasn't ready to get back into a relationship with Derwin after he cheated with singer Drew Sidora. On this episode, she was disappointed with the size of the ring and even stated that their relationship was cursed. So my question to both men and women does the size of the ring matter?

We live in a society today where the significance of marriage has been lost, to the point people don't believe in it. The newer generation of couples are content on being in a co-habitating  relationship, what most older people call "shacking up or living in sin". Is the comfortability of co-existence okay for the sake of having a mate? Do these couples feel that something will be lost if they decide to jump the broom? According to divorcerate.org between 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce 36.6% are between the ages of 20-24. Do a local search on Goggle or Yahoo and you see a celebrity trending because of divorce. Celebrities get married and divorced as much as the average person changes their clothes and hair. When did the importance of marriage go down the drain.

So back to my original question, is the size of the ring a deal breaker for marriage? Does the size of the rock determine the man's love for his woman? Does it determine the future of their union together? The size of your ring for most women are used to rub in another woman's face, look at my ring, don't you wish your ring was as big as mines? The conversation I have with most women is the size of the rock does matter and there wasn't room for negoiations. I mentioned hypothetically if the man couldn't afford a big ring at the time but was ready to propose to the woman he loves and will purchase a larger ring later would they still say no. Some replied yes because the proposal should have been done with the right ring and not an alternative ring. Does this make them superficial? Maybe. Is my reasoning practical? Probably. All in all, if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with the man/woman of your dreams, the size of the ring shouldn't be the deal breaker...not wanting to have kids should be the deal breaker. :-)

~L.G.~

(Videos courtesy of YouTube, picture courtesy of Google).

Starting Over-My Journey Back to Natural Hair (Revised)

(Originally posted on September 5, 2010).

 

For as long as I can remember, society’s standard of beauty lied in no lye relaxers, hot combs and hair weaves. As a child, I was so happy when I got my first Just for Me relaxer in the third grade (by the way that was Latavia Roberson ¼ of the original Destiny’s Child on the box). I was so happy to have straight, shiny pretty hair, because I was conditioned to hate kinky or as it was referred to at that time nappy hair. It wasn’t until I attended Delaware State University and meeting three young women who rocked their natural hair with such beauty and grace that inspired me to want to wear my hair natural. I never made that transition because of the convenience of purchasing a relaxer for $10 was more appealing than wearing my hair natural.  I experienced a traumatizing hair incident back in May of 2007; a relaxer left on my hair too long took out the top and the back of my hair.  My scalp hasn’t been the same since this unfortunate incident. For some people, namely a man, losing one’s hair isn’t such a big deal. But seeing your hair falling out in clumps is enough to make a person go plum crazy. I was forced to pull the little bit of hair I had left back into a ponytail While waiting for my hair to grow back I wore wigs, braids, ponytails and weaves. Eventually my hair grew back and I continued to wear relaxers.

For the remainder of 2008 until 2010 I continued wearing relaxers, suffering numerous chemical burns to my scalp, sores and ultimately a sensitive scalp. The last relaxer I received was May 29, 2010. I got a weave that July and after watching the Good Hair documentary for a second time made the decision to wear my hair relaxer free.  Enough is enough, I didn't want to endure the pain any longer of having a sensitive scalp while getting a relaxer, and I wanted a healthy scalp which leads to healthy hair. At that time, I was three months overdue for a touch up, so the beginning stages weren’t that bad. I wanted to transition my hair from relaxed to natural as opposed to doing the big chop (BC) and I knew I didn’t want to wear locs or twists; I wanted the options of wearing my hair curly or flat ironed straight. I consulted with a natural hairstylist and watched tutorials on YouTube to get an idea as what would be the best solution for me to begin my journey. My original plan was to update this blog every three months, with pictures of my hair as it transitions, but I got sidetracked with well…life lol!

Six month process

November 29, 2010- Six months into my process, I tried a braid out as illustrated on YouTube as my first transitioning hairstyle. It did NOT look like the girl's beautiful hair, mainly because she's been natural for 5 years, as opposed to my three months at the time. I styled my hair in a roller sets for a couple of weeks before getting a bohemian curl weave in mid-October. At the halfway point of my transition, I liked what I saw, but knew I still had a long way to go.

Seven month proces

January 18, 2011- 8 months into my process, I tried a few more natural styles and started wearing my hair straight or thermal curled. When I flat ironed my hair myself I deep conditioned my hair and used John Frieda’s Frizz Ease. Other times I wore my hair flat ironed I went to the Dominican hair salon or my cousin did my hair. I noticed whenever my cousin or me flat ironed my hair it didn’t last long before my hair puffed up. When I went to the Dominican salon, my hair lasted a little bit longer. I learned from other women who wear their natural hair straight that it takes time to train it to be straight. 

 

My naturalversary!

 

 

May 31, 2011- On the 29th, I celebrated my one year naturalversary. The process has still taken me some getting used to but for the most part my hair hasn't been healthier, fuller and overall beautiful in such a long time. I did consider chopping off the rest of my relaxed hair but lacked the confidence to rock a low haircut. I have about three inches of relaxed hair on the ends, only because I mainly maintained my hair, economically couldn’t go to the salon every two weeks. As I continued to transition my hair, I wore weaves, roller sets, thermal curls, and I visited the Dominican hair salon a few times where my hair was styled either straight or curly. I celebrated my one year naturalversary by creating several Bantu knots on damp hair with the aid of Motions wrap lotion. I unraveled the knots and had a combination of waves and curls, which I styled to resemble a curly afro. My cousin who has been wearing locs for 25 years gave me some really great tips that I hope to use soon.

Through this journey I learned that natural hair shouldn’t be frowned upon, natural hair is beautiful. When I was growing up, there weren’t any products on the market that catered to natural hair so our parents relaxed our “nappy” hair for convenience. In this day and age, young girls should have the option of how to wear their hair; they shouldn’t be forced to wear a relaxer. When I have children, I will definitely allow them to make their own hair choices. Do I believe relaxed hair is bad? No, it’s just not for me anymore. I’ve added some pictures of my hair journey which I hope to convert into a video and slide show. (Pictures below are hairstyles I wore during my process). ~L.G.~

My last relaxer May 2010

 

 

"The Game" brings the drama to 7.7 million Households

The Cast of "The Game" from l t r: Tia Mowry-Hardrict (Melanie Barnett-Davis), Coby Bell (Jason Pitts), Brittany Daniel (Kelly Pitts), Pooch Hall (Derwin Davis), LaTasha Tasha Mack (Wendy Raquel Robinson) and Hosea Chanchez (Malik Wright) Photo Courtesy of BET

 

Like most 20-somethings and older, I was looking forward to the season four premiere of "The Game" last night. I was one of many people who petitioned to bring the show back after it was canceled following a one hour series finale on the CW back in 2009. I had my doubts about the story lines moving to BET because of the brash, realistic, no-holds-barred language of the show. It was surprising that the way the show ended on season three, is how it began on season four: little to no laugh tracks, no funny dialogue, drama, and a bunch of loose ends. Season three ended with the cliffhangers of Kelly and Tasha having a fight, Jason leaving the court room with Camille, Rick Fox coming back to San Diego, and Derwin and Melanie finally getting married at the hospital chapel, after their original wedding was interrupted by ex-girlfriend Janay going into labor.

Season four began the same way, there was plenty of drama, actually too much drama to put in the one hour premiere. I understand that two years past, and some changes were made, but there were some aspects that were either confusing, unrealistic, or left me scratching my head. First, the location of the show changed. Most shows are taped in Hollywood, as this show wasn't any different, with the setting in San Diego, CA. For this season the taping takes place in Atlanta, and everyone now lives different homes. Derwin went from having a bum knee that was injured twice, and sitting on the bench all of the third season, in the new season Derwin is now the face of the franchise, with even more endorsements, Melanie as his wife and two-year-old son Derwin Jr. Melanie has settled into the role of a football player's wife, finishing medical school, but not taking up residency. She is still insecure, and making dumb mistakes regarding her relationship with Derwin.

Tasha still represents Derwin as her client, and is now dating a younger man Dantae (played by 106 & park host Terrance J), It isn't clear whether Jason still plays for the Sabers or not, he is seen on a sports channel, similar to ESPN, so one can assume he is retired and is now a sports anchor. Kelly is raising daughter Brittany as a single parent and now has her own reality show. It is also unclear what Malik's role is on the Sabers as well. It appears that he was injured, but now graces the cover of Madden, lives in a mansion, and is having an affair with his boss' wife (played by Megan Goode). Tee Tee is no longer Malik's assistant and now has a lunch truck and is in a relationship with a girl names Allison. Brittany "Brit Brat" Pitts is replaced by another actress who doesn't fit well into the role of their daughter. Brittany is black and is a teenager? How is this possible when she was only 8 or 9 during season three?

What happened to the independence of the women on the show? Melanie wanted nothing more than to be a doctor, but now since Derwin is making more money as a star athlete, she's content on being a housewife? Tasha's personality has changed, she's now a cougar, who smokes Black & Mild's and is scared of Kelly? Kelly who fought for her family to stay together has now become a bitter, gold digging attention seeker? And ex-girlfriend Janay, an entrepreneur, who also has a wealthy father is now what appears to be living off of her child support, and coveting Derwin's marriage by going out and buying the exact same purse as Melanie's? Jason and Derwin's character are the only ones that stayed the same. Malik has become even more arrogant, bold and harsh. Malik was arrogant and had ignorant moments on season past, but we also watched as Malik's character became the voice of reason, funny, supportive, fall in love, and develop a relationship with his father. Tee Tee who once was the funny sidekick, has come into his own, by becoming a business owner, and standing up to Malik. It is uncertain why the two aren't friends anymore.

What happened to Jason and Camille's, and Tasha and Rick's relationships? Why after Melanie swabbed DJ's mouth have Derwin not be the father, then Melanie receives a phone call stating it was a mistake and Derwin is the father? I understand that drama interests America, but why make this a soap opera when it was originally a comedy dealing with football players, and the women who support them? There was drama in previous seasons, but the first episode pulled at every possible emotion. I'll admit that I didn't become a fan until I watched re-runs on BET, and putting the show on BET expanded the show to a wider audience, but the integrity of the show shouldn't be compromised just to draw in high ratings.

On an interview with Mo'Nique, Hosea Chanchez stated that a great majority of their story lines comes from the headlines in the news. This explains why Kelly has a reality show, most of the ex-wives and girlfriends of professional athletes have reality shows and are bitter, vindictive, money hungry attention seeking women, which explains Kelly's dramatic character now in the new season. Brittany's character is a classic example of a child who was in the middle of their parents nasty divorce. She is upset with her father, and doesn't have that close relationship she once had, which may be due to her mother forcing her opinion of her father on her. I understand that the other little girl couldn't act, but couldn't they have at least cast a biracial child like before? Why couldn't the original results of Derwin not being the father stayed just as it was? I think that "Merwin" deserve to be happy and start a family of their own.

It's only the first episode and I won't do any further complaining, I just hope that the story lines get better, and I can laugh, cry, and be angry at the show just liked I did for the past three seasons.

~L.G.~

One year of the blogging experience

Wow...it's been exactly a year ago that I decided to start blogging. My decision to blog was due to me being bored with not landing my career job..yet...but at the same time keeping my writing skills fresh. 2010...where do I start...of course at the end of 2009 I expected many great things to occur in the new year, as I currently hope for in 2011...however 2010 was a heck of a ride, mentally, physically AND emotionally. My employer put me through the wringer..in a sense with all of the drama, pay cut, etc. that took place. I found myself in the same position in March 09 in July of 10...unemployed and depending on government assistance. I haven't publicly spoken about it on my social networks, but it has been rough. The more I search for jobs that I know I'm highly qualified for, the more disappointed I become when I get that dreaded email. My health was a major concern in 2010 also. In April, I visited the emergency room to treat a condition known as bronchospasm, which is closely related to asthma. I've never had respiratory problems before, so as one can guess it threw me through a loop. In July, was the most trying time for my health..I had some issues that required surgery and at that moment, I realized just how precious life is, and the choices and mistakes I've made, I have to live with those consequences. I tried to get on a diet...and failed miserably...this is the heaviest I've been in my life, and I was rather disappointed in myself that I didn't have enough discipline to stick with a diet and exercise regiment. I also made the choice to transition my hair from relaxed to natural, currently seven months in, and it has been an empowering experience. Okay enough with that here are some moments of humor and good times during 2010:
#2010moment Seeing Jill Scott, Maxwell, Trey Songz and one of my favorite singers Monica in concert
#2010moment my grandmother and father working together to get my college ring for me
#2010moment my bf buying me my favorite movie Beauty and the Beast on DVD and buying me a figurine to match
#2010moment Enjoying some Southern Hospitality in Virginia
#2010moment seeing my brother graduate from Princeton University
#2010moment spending my birthday with my family

Now onto the humorous moments of 2010

#2010disappointments Tights vs Leggings...some women DON'T know the difference
#2010disappointments women in scarves, bonnets, and pajamas in public...or darn near naked in public
#2010disappointments lace front wigs at an all time high
#2010disappointments Keri Hilson..girl bye
#2010disappointments Passion, Pain & Pleasure album...Mr. Steal Your Girl should have let his Ready album continue to marinate and continue to put out mixtapes
#2010disappointments five star chicks and Barbies
#2010disappointments Soulja Boy Tell 'Em whole music catalog
#2010disappointments "Swagg", hit 'em with the Dougie, and super skinny clothes on men
#2010disappointments Getting drunk, shimmying, picking an argument with my bf at his dinner party
#2010disappointments and the most disappointing moment of them all...my cousin's party where a girl performed oral sex on another girl on the catwalk at Fusion night club.


As 2010 comes to a close in two days I'm again faced with a big decision...but I know ultimately it will be the best decision in the long run..

~L.G.~

For Colored Girls:Too old fashioned for 2010?

The women in the play adaptation of the choreopoem

In order for a proper analysis of the movie to be made, one must read the original choreopoem by author Ntozake Shange. There were two different emotions felt after reading the original work and watching the movie. After I read the book, I felt empowered, but after seeing the movie I felt depressed. I'll begin with the book...we are introduced to seven different women who are only identified by the colors they wear: Lady in Red, Lady in Blue, Lady in Orange, Lady in Brown, Lady in Green, Lady in Purple and Lady in Yellow. The reader learns where they come from, their lives, and what they do to overcome their obstacles in a collection of poems, with monologues, song and dance. The original has been adapted into plays, including a performance at the Broadway theater in 1982 starring unknown actresses at the time Lynn Whitfield and Alfre Woodard and movie directed by Tyler Perry shortening the name to "For Colored Girls".

Terry Perry's work is in modern day New York City, unlike the book first written in 1975. All of the characters live in or around Harlem, in the original work the ladies were all over in Chicago, Detroit, Houston, Baltimore, San Francisco, Manhattan, and St. Louis. Perry incorporated Shange's poetry throughout the movie, at times you couldn't tell the script from the poetry, while other times the transition from the poetry to the script didn't flow. In the movie the women have names unlike the original work. The Lady in Red name is Jo a successful magazine editor, the Lady in Brown is Crystal who is the assistant to Jo, the Lady in Purple  is Nyla a high school graduate and dancer, the Lady in Yellow is Yasmine dance instructor to Nyla, the Lady in Green is Juanita, a nurse who also runs a support group to promote safe sex, the Lady in Blue is Kelly a social worker, and the Lady in Orange is Tangi a bartender and sister to Nyla. Other characters include Gilda the nosy building manager in which the majority of the ladies live, Alice a member of a religious cult and mother of Tangi and Nyla, Rose a back alley abortionist, Beau Willie Crystal's boyfriend and father of her two children Kenya and Kwame, Carl is Jo's husband, Frank is Juanita's boyfriend, Donald is Kelly's husband and Bill casually dates Yasmine.

The movie was a lot to digest in two hours and every emotion was pulled, stretched, and eventually left you drained once leaving out of the theater. The movie dealt with promiscuity, date rape, HIV, pregnancy and abortion, child barren from an untreated STD, physical and emotion abuse, murder, and unfaithfulness in a relationship. The enjoyed the movie, and was thoroughly impressed with Perry's attempt to re-create it for the modern day woman; however, I have a few issues with the characters and movie. Alice was oddly placed in the movie, over the top and at times heartless, Jo's character obviously patterned after Meryl Streep's character from the Devil Wears Prada lacked dimension. Juanita was overdramatic at times, and just plain annoying. The back alley abortinist wasn't modern at all, I imagine in the 70's abortions were very controversial and probably more expensive, so why keep that portion of the play in the movie? Why did Perry have the women refer to themselves as colored women in present day New York City? If Perry was going to keep the dialogue of the choreopoem he should have set the movie in the 70's. The stories of the women are real, and do not discriminate; however, there were no solutions to the issues the women faced in the film. The only positive ending to the film was Nyla going off to college. Overall, the movie is still something that everyone must see...after reading the original work of course.

Donald and Lady in Blue Kelly

Bill and Lady in Yellow Yasmine

Lady in Purple Nyla

Gilda

Lady in Brown Crystal and Beau Willie

Lady in Red Jo

Lady in Green Juanita

Lady in Orange Tangi and Alice

 

 

The cast of For Colored Girls, l to r: Anika Noni Rose, Kerry Washington, Janet Jackson, Kimberly Elise, Phylicia Rashad, Tessa Thompson and Thandie Newton

DSU: A Family Affair Homecoming Wrap-Up

   

Winners of 2010 stepshow

I know this blog is so well overdue but I had to write it. For some apparent reason, when meeting up with alumni; high school and college some form of shade was thrown at me. Umm excuse me did I do or say something wrong to you? Or how about if you didn't like me in school, we're adults now get over it! Good grief, the "shade" factor was no exception at my alma mater's homecoming. I aforementioned in my last post that not too many people seemed enthusiastic about going to HC, many people worked that weekend, or simply did not attend. I made my way to Dover Thursday night, and my friend from NY came down the next day. Friday's events were the step show and the one of two young alumni parties. Blake gave me a shoutout at the step show, and I found it comical that the current student body turned around to look at me as if to say who is this old chick?! The show was just okay..nothing like how it was from years ago...that was my first feeling of I'm getting too old for this stuff. The brothers of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Inc. won their first step show in years, with their Drum line inspired show. The Alphas accused them of swagger jacking some of their moves from a previous step show. The ladies of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc. won again this year with their Monster inspired show.(I had problems with uploading the video for Zeta Phi Beta).

Another underlying theme for HC was awkward...there were plenty of awkward moments. The first moment happened at the step show, my friend invited me and another friend to sit in her section with her sorority..There were many evil glares thrown at us, because they knew we weren't Greek. I made up my mind to never put myself in that situation again. The next moment was the addition of two other guests at my friend's home for the weekend. They are her sorors and it is expected that she would open her home to them; however, the two weren't interested in what me and my other friend were conversing about (she's in a sorority too), they were only interested in talking about their organization and brother organization. The young alumni party was cool, there were a lot of familiar faces, not so familiar faces, and did you even graduate faces. Of course Mr. Popularity himself (Mike  Feeney) was there having a good time and taking pics (if you ain't on mfeenz camera then you weren't at HC!).

Saturday we missed the game again, but was happy to hear that they won. My friends and I all went our separate ways once on campus, while I wandered over to the new MLK Center. All I can say is man! These new students are some lucky ducks! How ironic was it that the majority of the Hornet Staff all randomly met up and took some pics in the spot where the Hornet Office used to be located (tears). I eventually wandered off to the plots, and took pictures again. The final awkward moment happened when two of my friends, me and some older Kappas (or Nupes as some are called) took a picture, everyone in the picture threw up their respective organizations sign, and me...none. I'm not Greek and for the older Kappas to look and notice that I didn't hold up a sign was the worse awkward moment of the evening.

The young alumni concert featured DSU's own Amillion Poet's Poetry In Motion and it was wonderful. I was familiar of this young man's talent from a creative writing class we took together. The second opening act was Anonymous Soul and they tore it up! The crowd wasn't really being receptive of them, but from watching a previous performance of their's years ago, they have improved dramatically. The headliner Chrisette Michelle hit the stage and the girl can SANG! Beautiful demeanor and personality and a great sense of humor, Chrisette was the cherry on top of the concerts I've attended this year. On Sunday, my friend and me were contemplating if we would return next year for homecoming or take a break. Still up in the air, one thing is for sure, if we come back next year we'll have a rental and a hotel stay.

~L.G.~


Here's some pics and video from DSU Homecoming 2010-

Waltra, Larissa, Sharita and me

Former SGA President and City Council District 5 hopeful Delano Hunter

The new Martin Luther King Jr. Student Center

Mr. Popularity, former editor-in-chief, current journalist for the New York Times Mike Feeney

Me, Waltra and Brittney

One half of former Hornet Staff: me, Ashlee, Shanequa and Jasmine

Another half of the former Hornet staff- Steve, Jennifer, me, Mike, Chris and Harold